#238: That moment before catastrophe


I used to hike a lot when I lived near Thunderbird Park.  There is this one part of the trail that is very steep with a lot of loose gravel.  Once while I was hiking, I started to lose my step and slide down the trail.  The first few seconds I was falling, I found myself trying not to panic; I knew how bad things could get. I bent my knees, lowering my center of gravity and attempted to regain footing.

After about three feet of sliding, my feet found more solid ground and my kinetic energy reverted back to potential energy.  For that one second the whole world just stopped.  It was quite and still.  The sound of pebbles cascading down the mountain side were drowned out by my rapidly thumping heart; which then changed into a loud ringing.  I no longer heard the noise around me, just this increasingly loud ring in my ears.

I was scared. Any movement I made could send me hurling down the hillside to a dangerously painful end.  Everything depended on my next move.

This is where I find myself in my diet today.  Its this moment in the past, where I have decided to quit or keep going.  A bad food day turns into a bad week.  Missing a workout turns into hours on the couch thinking about working out, while watching TV instead.  And now there is this ringing; this loud ringing in my ears.

I feel it.  I’ve fallen a few feet down this foothill, but there is this pause.  Its this moment where my chest is heaving with panic and my ears are ringing from the blood flow and my next move will determine whether or not I will continue to climb or simply careen out of control.

Now what? How do I fix this?  Am I the only one that has felt like this?

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