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I quit – and I’m not sure how to unquit

Last year I ran 14 half marathons – but I gained 40lbs doing it. I stopped writing about races (the last published post is for the 6th race out of 14!). I weight about 277lbs. I haven’t hit 280 again, but Stephanie says I’m getting bigger – if I don’t change something, I’ll be pushing 300lbs again.

But I don’t know what that something is. I’ve considered weight loss surgery. Stephanie said this weekend she would rather have a fat husband than risk surgery. I’m concerned if I don’t get my health under control – she won’t have a fat husband for much longer.

Why am I publishing this now? I think I’m reaching a tipping point – either I’ll schedule an appointment to talk to a doctor about surgery, or I’ll find some magic motivation that has eluded me for my entire adult life, OR I’ll just give up and gain weight until I end up on a TV show or dead.

I know, this is a bit morbid… (Is that a fat joke?)

Later…

Rock-n-Roll: Seattle

Its in the bag – my sixth half marathon this year. This was by far my favorite. I weigh my heaviest for any race this year, but still managed to keep it under 3 hours. The hill at mile 8 was difficult but the run along side the water was fantastic.

I enjoyed the entire weekend while I was in this nice part of the world – I definitely want to go back again.

^ I wrote that on 6/25/2014. But for whatever reason, I didn’t finish my thoughts on this run. Seattle was fun and I really enjoyed the weekend with my wife. I am debating right now about how to handle 2015. I can’t / won’t do the RnR Tour pass again – at least not in 2015. But I do want to continue running.

Anyway – it was fun.

I’m never “starting” a diet again!

I keep having “false starts”. Its where you say I’m going to get back on the diet/weightloss wagon… starting tomorrow! But then you don’t. Or you do well all day that new “first” day until 10pm at night… when you consume 1200 calories in 30 mins and think, I guess I’m “starting” tomorrow…

Today I was on. I logged all my food and I worked out. I didn’t start a diet. I didn’t begin a weight loss program. I just did today. And I did it right. Tomorrow is another day to contend with and I’ll tackle it tomorrow.

I don’t ever want to “start” again. Just deal with today. Maybe I’ll put a enough todays in the win column to see a lot more tomorrows.