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My Slippery Slope of Dieting

Have you ever been hiking?  As a kid, I used to run around in the wooded area behind our house.  There was this ravine that ran through the woods were I played, and I often ran through it, playing all sorts of games with my brother.

I remember once while we were playing after a rainy week, I stepped on the edge of the ravine and my foot slipped.  It wasn’t like tripping over something and finding yourself on the ground wondering what just happened.  It was slow and obvious.

First my left foot slipped just a few inches.  Then when I tried to firmly plant my right foot on to higher ground, away from the edge, I felt it sink into the mud and then slide back toward me.  My left foot was still slipping toward the edge.

I grabbed for near by branch, but it slipped away from me and I found myself now doubled over, hands on the side of the ravine, an inch into the mud.  Things started happening more quickly.  I was falling into the ravine and the more I did to correct it, the faster I found myself falling.  In the end, I was covered in mud and at the bottom of the ravine about ten feet below, luckily unharmed.

The last two days, I have noticed that I have started eating a little bit faster.  I have the next bite of food on the fork before I’ve finished the bite in my mouth.  And when I feel the beginnings of ‘full’, I’ve shoveled a few last bites in, knowing that I was putting myself past full and into the stuffed range, because I didn’t want to stop eating.

In other words, my foot as landed in the mud and I feel myself starting to slide.  Unlike when I was a child, I am not going to panic.  Rather than grabbing blindly around me and stepping more and more into the mud, I’m going to stop, evaluate the situation, and make my actions from here deliberate.

Something about the “I can make you thin” program has clicked with me like no other program I have done.  I’ve never understood before that my addiction was not to food, but to the act of eating.  I never understood exactly what emotional eating was before either.  Now armed with this new information, I have very successfully resisted the temptation to eat at night before bed or between meals when I wasn’t hungry.

I’ve pushed back the plate when I was still on the first portion instead of the third and I’ve left food on every plate since I started the program December 1st.  I have never before dealt with the opportunity cost of eating one food OR another since I’ve always just eaten both.  Now instead of saving the ‘best’ bites for last, I eat them first since my first bites might actually be the last bites of that meal.

I have started many programs out there, but this is the first time where I feel I can answer the toughest question anyone starting a new weight loss program can ask – “What makes this time different”.  I can’t tell you what it is about “I can make you thin” that clicked with me, but I can see it clicked.  My understanding of myself and my addiction is different.  And I think that might just make all the difference in the world.

My old friends need a divorce! By Albert Tubbs

Enjoy every bite of food. Focus while you eat and eliminate distractions. Including but not limited to no eating food while watching television. These are ideas that McKenna has laid out in his book.

The first few days I followed this to the letter. Then slowly began watching TV while eating, think “no problem”.

Sadly, I have noticed that I can’t stop eating when I am full and be in front of the TV. Furthermore, I have a strong distain for that fact that I have discovered I enjoy the act of eating.

It has become excruciatingly clear that I must divorce these two activities from each other if I am to be successful at following the principles laid in “I can make you thin”.

The strange thing that has happened is that I am experiencing the five stages of grief after this discovery and I’m not quite at acceptance yet. Seriously, this revelation has not been one of enlightenment but of grief, sorry and depression.

I now know for the first time in my life when I am really full – good. That food and TV can’t be united in matrimony – good.

I’M NOT HAPPY ABOUT KNOWING THIS!

I feel like a child whose parents are saying “we only want what’s best for the kids” but are still making live in a broken home, deserted.

I’m so offended, that now I’ve fallen of the wagon and ran away for the last few days.

Oh crap! I thought I was near stage five but it seems I have digressed back to anger, which of course is only stage three.