One of the key concepts of the “I can make you thin” book is that you should eat on purpose.  The author suggests that you remove distractions like television while eating a meal.  I enjoy eating while watching TV – but I don’t enjoy being FAT.

Today I made a point of eating each bit of food like it was the only bite I had.  I savored it.  I chewed it slowly over and over while noticing every favor.  I didn’t put the next bite of food in my mouth until I had completely finished the first.

This forced me to slow down, giving my body more time to signal that its full – but had the added benefit of allowing me to enjoy food.  I know it sounds a bit crazy, but the truth is, to enjoy eating is not the same thing as enjoying food.

Have you ever watched “The Biggest Loser” when they show clips of FAT people shoveling food into the face at a ridiculous pace?  Eating produces endorphins, similar to the affect you could get from working out (hmm… interesting).  Eating at such break neck speeds shows an addiction to eating, not to food.

Eating on purpose like this allows me to enjoy food.  That’s cool – not a lot of diets out there have a real claim to that one.  It reminds me of a quote from Ratatouille:

Linguini: And you’re thin for someone who likes food. [crowd gasps]
Anton Ego: I don’t LIKE food. I LOVE it. If I don’t love it, I don’t SWALLOW.

Today I had a bit of my daughter’s bannana for breakfast and half a polish sausage dog for lunch, the other half of that same dog for dinner.  That’s it.  I mean it… that was it.

This is upsetting – I’m not starving myself – I’m really not.  I wasn’t stuffed of course, but I only stopped eating when I felt full.  I keep telling myself that something has to be wrong here.  How can I be full after half a hotdog?!?!?!

I read more of the book today.  I am learning that I am an emotional eater.  Until today, I thought an emotional eater was that chick that just got dumped, curled up on her couch eating rocky road ice cream having a good cry.  But in his book, Paul McKenna talks about emotional eating as eating to change the way you feel regardless of your hunger level.

Bored? Then, what’s in the fridge?  Tired but don’t want to go to bed? What’s in the pantry?  Uh… WOW!  With those guildlines, I am an emotional eater.  How did the author know that I’ve said “I never feel full?”  Mr McKenna goes on to describe me as though he has known me for years. 

As an emotional eater, I never ‘felt full’ because I wasn’t hungry to begin with.  I was eating to change my mood.  Today, I did not eat to change my mood.  I ate when I was hungry and I stopped when I felt physically satisfied.  Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to eat more, but not because I was hungry.  I want bother re-iterating my feeling on this other than to say, I miss my puppy.

I’ll admit that the second half of that dog didn’t fill me up, but I was satisfied.  And I haven’t felt hungry all day.  Can this be right?  Obviously, I can’t maintain this low of a calorie intake – but I’m not going to stray from the principles… at least not for the month of December.  Albert, be prepared to buy my copy of this book.

The bad news is I had a really bad food night.

The good news is I realized it and it wasn’t as bad as it could have been.

The morning and afternoon was fine but late afternoon I received some bad news. Not like anybody died news, but still upsetting.

In the book “I can make you thin” the author presents a hunger scale. It is as follows:

1. Physically faint
2. Ravenous
3. Fairly hungry
4. Slightly hungry
5. Neutral
6. Pleasantly satisfied
7. Full
8. Stuffed
9. Bloated
10. Nauseous

The idea is to eat when you are a 3 or 4 and not eat past an 8. This makes the overall goal to live in the 5-6 range.

After dinner I allowed myself to emotional eat. On previous days I used a calming technique that is shared in Mckenna’s book. Today, for some reason I didn’t use it. I didn’t even think of the method from the book.

Until halfway through my eating and then I used the calming method and stopped eating.

Tonight’s emotional eating was different. I felt my body being full. I knew my body didn’t need what I was eating, that this was pure emotional eating and I did it anyway. In the past I really believed I “needed” it.

This is a major success story for me. You may be thinking “How is emotional eating a success?”

You see fat people believe they are fat because they are physically hungrier than skinny people. We blame genetics and need. We insist that we are hungry and that skinny just don’t understand and they don’t.

Yet, I heard it and I felt it, that message from the body that I was full. I ignored but I heard it. Fat people don’t hear that or feel that until they are a 9 or 10 on the scale. Wither how we were raised or what we have done or a million other reasons we don’t hear it.

I heard it and if I start listening I really believe I can become one of those skinny people who don’t understand. That’s success!

This “success” is also a part of the program. The book even states I may have times I get away from the ideal I have now chosen for myself. I did fail my new chosen relationship with food tonight but I still won.

I will learn from it and stay with program. I plan to re-read the book and reinforce the calming and craving techniques because when I needed them I didn’t even think to use them.

As I write this post I am a strong 9 on the hunger scale and I upset with myself. Yet, I am high on believing that my body is in love with me, enough to talk to me.