UGH! It never ends. I’m either gaining or losing and lately its been gaining. Two years ago, I started on the Eat to Live program and over the first 6 weeks I lost 40 lbs – I got down to 249lbs and I felt amazing.
I feel like I’m either clawing my way down the scale or free falling my way up it.
It was the first time I had been below 250lbs since the first time I went above 250lbs. Then I got discouraged at a perceived lack of progress. The scale stopped moving down and just hovered at 250lbs for a few weeks.
Weeks turned into months and hovering at 250lbs turned into climbing to 260, 270, 280+… I put back on all the weight I had lost. I was discouraged. My “set point” for body weight appears to be 285lbs looking over the last 10 years. I was at one point as high as 330lbs but for the most part, 285 has been the mark.
Eat to Live changed the way I eat and the way I think about food. It had and continues to have an impact on my daily food choices. But I’m a food addict. I know not to eat crap and I do it anyway.
Back in Nov I started running again. I got in shape to run a marathon in Jan and I did it. I signed up for half marathons throughout the year and I started pushing myself to make good food choices. At the same time, I purchased the FitBit Force and have been using it to monitor my daily activity level and as a goal, I’ve attempted to reach all the daily FitBit goals (number of steps, calories burned, stairs climbed, active mins., distance traveled).
Through all these methods, I began again making progress on my health – getting my body weight down to 238lbs – an all time new low since gaining most of the weight when my first-born arrived 10 years ago. Then I failed. The months of running, eating healthy, hitting the stairs at 10:45pm and the treadmill at 11pm to ensure all green from fitbit by the midnight cut off had suddenly become overwhelming and I quit.
Without the daily exercise and healthy food choices, I found myself consuming an additional 1500-2000 calories a day AFTER 10pm. Time I was burning 500-1000 calories each day had suddenly become a free for all eating binge. Now I’m back up to 255lbs.
My back is in constant pain – which is new for me. Even at 330lbs, I have never dealt with back pain. I feel like I’m either clawing my way down the scale or free-falling my way up it. I need a plateau. I’m begging for a new set point. A new weight that my daily activities and eating habits naturally maintain so that I can simply take a break from the fight.
When most people refer to having hit a plateau, they mean that even with the same level of daily activities and the same level of food intake, they are no longer seeing the same level of progress. I just want to focus on anything other than my food, my workout, my eating, my running… over and over and never endingly over struggle to get and stay healthy.