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New Resolve

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Brownies in the meeting

I have found a new resolve birthed out of my anger.  I’m still mad.  Mad that I cannot seem to get below 285lbs.  Mad that I treat myself the way that I do.  Mad that I’ve done it so long that it has become a kind of autopilot business as usual activity for me to overeat.  That anger has squared my shoulders and fixed my gate – I will not be denied!  I am going to keep on this path – eating healthier choices, smaller portions, and moving more.

Today I was faced with several challenges – this morning I sit down in a meeting with a vendor and they pour these brownies out onto the table, right in front of me.  For an hour I sat there and tried to pay attention to the content of the meeting but had a hard time earring over those brownies.  I got mad.  Angry that I wanted one, angry that they distracted me – and I made the decision – I will break 285lb!  I will not eat this trash in front of me – I will break 285lbs!  So I resisted.

choc
chocolates at my desk

I left the meeting having successfully resisted the temptation and what do I find at my desk?  That’s right – a box of chocolates from another employee giving them out to our team.  I was mad.  Not at the sweet (pun intended) gesture from a co-worker – but at me for allowing myself to get this big.  I will break 285lbs!  I actually threw the chocolates to a cube beside me – my cubical neighbor was excited to have the extras and I needed them out of my reach.

For lunch I ate my planned meal (fish, broccoli, and rice).  The rest of the day I found myself being faced with snacks and candies and cookies everywhere – and each time I walked away and said to myself “I will break 285lbs!”  I walked around the building after lunch for about a mile.  I took breaks from my work to walk up and down the stairs.  I will break 285lbs!  If I have to staple 285 to my head for the rest of the month – I will break 285lbs!

I have found new resolve.  It may not work tomorrow – but it certinaly worked for me today!

8 thoughts on “New Resolve

  1. That’s what it takes! It takes a single-minded obsession. I am constantly telling my friends and coworkers that, “I’m single-mindedly obsessed” whenever they try to get me to have a beer, a piece of cake, or whatever. I’ve said it so many times that they kind of get annoyed, but it works. Keep up the righteous anger and the single-minded focus. You WILL succeed.

  2. WOW….what awesome resolve! Give yourself a pat on the back for such willpower today! And don’t give up that mantra! You WILL break 285!

    Today’s struggle will one day soon be nothing more than a passing thought.

    1. Thanks for the encouraging words! I will break 285lbs – just not this week. I just weighed in at 288 – same as last week – which means it wasn’t a gain… 😀

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